Problems with Sephiroth: The Princess's Tale
by Mewgia Mirrorcoat
Summary: Part III of III. Kairi plans to return and eat lunch with her boys. She does not expect to find both boys gone and a one winged angel sitting in the kitchen with a bowl on his head.


Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, or Final Fantasy, these are the properties of Tetsuya Nomura, Square Enix, and Disney.

A/N: Part 3. Now we get to see how the room got to be in that strange state when Sora and Riku returned. It's more amusing, I think, to have read both "Problems with Sephiroth" and the Reverse Rebirth version before reading this one, but this can still be read as a stand-alone version. And now, for the conclusion (or maybe beginning) of the three part group of stories detailing some... well, problems with Sephiroth.  


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Problems with Sephiroth – Tale of the Princess of Light

Her lessons done, Kairi walked casually from the Bailey, where Aerith and Donald were cleaning up a little after the damage done by various magical spells. She was exhausted, and Aerith had sent her off to rest and spend the rest of the day doing whatever she wished. Kairi mentally thanked Aerith over and over.

Now, all she had was a lunch date with her favorite boys. Likely, they were still eating – those two did tend to devour everything edible in sight, for good reasons – and so she could also grab something quick to eat to renew her own energy. Most likely, Riku and Sora would drag her out for training later as well, so it would probably be best not to eat too much until that evening. She had no plans to throw up while dodging one of Riku's attacks.

Soon, Kairi found herself walking along the cobblestone pathway in the residential area of Hollow Bastion. There were still various heartless around, but with the efforts of their trio and the security system, it was mostly safe to wander about. Quite the contrary out in the Great Maw area, but there was a reason why she, Riku, and Sora tended to train out there rather than within the boundaries of the town. Aside from there being more space and there being more heartless in that area to fight, the three of them had started to realize that they were maybe a bit too good at destroying things.

She glanced about, trying to find the building that Sora and Riku had said they would be eating at. It wasn't Merlin's house, due to the limited space and the lack of a real kitchen, but it was another close by where she, Sora, and Riku had started living in ever since leaving Destiny Islands and making a business of staying overnight at Radiant Garden often. Until someone found another warp gummi, they would have to make due with whatever place they could find to rest.

The only problem with the house was that it was hard to find, its obscurity being one of the reasons why they had chosen it in the first place. There was less chance of some uninvited visitor letting themselves in to meet up with the Keybearers, though every now and then something unexpected did happen.

After a few twists and turns later, she found the entrance. She smiled as she let herself in, noticing nothing out of the ordinary as she entered. Just the usual clutter, the stock of hi-potions and various synthesizing materials, the occasional trinket and gift from one of the various worlds that the trio had visited...

A dark presence from the upstairs kitchen?

It certainly felt nothing like Riku. Kairi had learnt long ago how to distinguish the light and darkness based presences of people, particularly those with strong bases in the two sides, like Sora and Riku. At the moment though, she could feel only feel remnants of their energy, as though they had been in the house only moments before, but were now gone, Riku's being the most recent. And the other one... it was powerful, sinister, and somehow familiar.

Quickly summoning her keyblade, she rushed up the stairs, through the corridors, and straight to where she felt the presence.

She gaped.

"Is there a problem, Princess?" Sephiroth slowly turned towards her, eyes narrowed in anger. The threatening sight was only lessened by the fact that there was a bowl resting atop his head and something brownish-yellow with the spicy scent of curry was dripping down his face.

Kairi quickly shut her mouth and banished her keyblade, recalling what Sora had told her about his second battle with Sephiroth. "No, I was just looking for some people," she quickly answered, trying to keep her thoughts on anything aside from her friend's potential whereabouts and the noodles in Sephiroth's hair. She failed.

_What just happened where are Sora and Riku did they have anything to do with this Sephiroth looks so ridiculous how did that happen did Sora and Riku have anything to do with that why is Sephiroth in here anyway were they eating ramen again is there any left I'm kind of hungry what am I thinking?_

She could blame the fact that it had been Riku who wanted to visit that ninja world in the first place later. Or that that fox boy liked ramen so much and had spread that liking onto the three of them. She had another problem on her hands right now.

Sephiroth raised an eyebrow. "You are looking for whom?" he questioned.

Kairi mentally smacked herself. She couldn't say Sora, and Riku must have had something to do with this current situation, so... "The Gullwings," she blurted.

"Hmmm." Sephiroth quietly turned away, tipping the bowl off his head, where it shattered on the floor.

Kairi winced. That was one less bowl to use now.

"Princess. You are friends with the Keyblade Master and the one of Twilight. You shall join me in search of them, whilst you search for those you seek," Sephiroth announced in a deep, almost gallant voice, all of which would have sounded perfectly sinister and inspiring of evil and greatness had it not been for the noodles still intertwined in Sephiroth's normally perfect silver hair.

Kairi inwardly wanted to faint on the spot. Somehow, Sephiroth had twisted her words and now was planning to accompany her until he found Sora and Riku. Not only was this a bad thing, but it certainly made trying to eat lunch with her boys very difficult. _How did I get pulled into this…?_

"Well, Princess?" Sephiroth held out one hand, in a mysterious, almost seductive manner.

_Why does he keep calling me that…? Oh no, what do I do now?!_

"Um... well..." Kairi stuttered, trying to think up some excuse to lose Sephiroth. Now she could understand how difficult it had always been for Sora to loose this man from his trail, but unlike Sora, she would certainly not fare well in an encounter with him. Not that Sora would either, but at least he had a chance. Maybe Riku would too. Her? Not so much. This was of course something she was working on, but she was much more of a mage than a direct fighter.

Her mind kept wandering, and now Sephiroth was staring at her inquisitively. So she said the first thing on her mind.

"Wait... I think someone's downstairs, I should let them in," she quickly forced out. Then she eyed Sephiroth suspiciously. "Were you let into the house in the first place? How did you get in when the front door was locked?"

Actually, front door had been unlocked when she came in, but that was just another sign of suspicion. She supposed this would just have to be her tactic... guilt-trip Sephiroth into leaving.

Sephiroth just stayed silent, raising an eyebrow as though petty things such as locked doors meant nothing to him. Then he pointed to an open window.

Kairi then found herself in a glaring contest with the one winged angel. "The window opens from inside," she pointed out accusingly. "You broke in, didn't you?"

She felt incredibly silly for scolding Sephiroth, but it had to be done for her rather impromptu idea to work.

Sephiroth simply stared at her. "So?"

"So?! Breaking and entering is a bad thing! What were you trying to do anyway, steal the dishware?" Kairi threw her arms up in exasperation. "Anyway, I'm going to go let those people in now."

With that, she calmly stomped away, making sure her feet pounded the ground in an angry manner, as she made her way through the hallways towards the stairs. And set the rest of her plan into action.

Kairi jumped down the stairs, ran to the doorway, and making sure she had everything, threw open the door, prepared to run out and away to freedom (and hopefully, Sora and Riku if she could find out whatever happened to them).

Instead, she literally fell on her face as three fairies zoomed into the room.

"Hiya Kairi!" Yuna giggled, leaning down and floating right over Kairi's now aching head. "How are you? Are the boys here?"

Kairi slowly sat up in the doorway of the house and looked up at them, trying to hide her irritation and urgency in trying to escape from Sephiroth. "No, they aren't. Listen, I was just leaving, and - "

"Is everything all right?"

Kairi seriously wished she could use dark portals like Riku could, ever since he had started carefully using darkness again. However, at the same time she was relieved that both Aerith and Donald had popped up at the house. Maybe they could help her.

She took a deep breath. "Listen, Sephiroth is upstairs in the kitchen, both Sora and Riku are gone, their lunches are still up there so I guess Sephiroth has something to do with their sudden disappearance - "

"Sephiroth?!" Donald squawked in shock, before jumping over Kairi, who was still sitting on the threshold, and running straight up the stairs.

Kairi gaped. "No! Donald, Sora's not even there!"

Aerith quickly held a hand out to Kairi. "We should go rescue Donald before things get out of hand," she motioned towards the stairs, looking concerned as she gazed up. The Gullwings, now surprised that all the attention had shifted due to Sephiroth's presence, simply sat in space watching.

Kairi took Aerith's hand, letting the older woman pull her upright. "All right then..." she muttered, quite unwillingly letting herself go back upstairs to revisit the one winged angel she had just escaped from.

The two made their way to the stairs, running up them and starting down the various hallways towards where the kitchen was.

"WHERE'S SORA YOU BIG NINCOMPOOP?!"

Both Kairi and Aerith winced. "We'd better hurry," Aerith noted, and Kairi nodded in return.

They both finally made it to the entrance of the kitchen, prepared to defend Donald from the threat of Sephiroth. Kairi knew that Donald was at least capable of fighting, as he had always been alongside Sora... though Sora had gone one-on-one with Sephiroth last time... with the advent of that thought, she felt her anxiety return.

Then it quickly melted away as she witnessed the scene before her.

Sephiroth glared at the duck. "He disappeared. Quite literally."

"Oh yeah, then what happened to Riku?!"

"I believe he ran away."

"He wouldn't run away!"

"I suggest you explain his disappearance then after his creation of a distraction," Sephiroth answered back with gritted teeth. Kairi could tell he was holding everything back to hopefully not level the town.

"YOU! THUNDAGA!"

The sizzle of lightning shocked nearly everything in sight, including many dishes and the remains of Sora and Riku's lunches.

Aerith twitched.

Sephiroth responded by swiping his Masamune across the room, not only destroying more dishware, but a few pots and a chair as well.

Aerith twitched again.

It was at that moment that Kairi remembered that Aerith rather liked to cook in this particular kitchen due to the existence of some strange and exotic cooking utensils from various worlds. Why Sora had thought of that was beyond Kairi's understanding, seeing as that the purpose of a few was questionable.

"Blizzaga!"

"Hyaa!"

Crash.

Kairi winced as she watched. Well, there went lunch...

"Ooh, food fight!"

The Gullwings had flown in to see what the commotion was about, and apparently had decided to join in the chaos.

Rikku began by picking up a small plastic container and filling it with some of the curry noodles from the still single remaining bowl on the table (which, miraculously, was undamaged though the food now looked slightly fried). Then, giggling mischievously, she flew over and dumped it over Sephiroth's head.

Sploosh.

Sephiroth let out a cry of rage, as he again swiped his sword out, neatly destroying a cabinet and missing Rikku by a good number of feet as she darted out of the way. Within moments, Yuna had also joined in on the throwing of still warm ramen at Sephiroth, and it seemed that Paine was planning something even more dastardly. She did seem to be eying the fridge and the faucet.

By this time, Aerith had taken out her staff, though she seemed to have realized that her joining in to stop the chaos would only lead to more destruction of the center of culinary arts. She instead dealt with standing in place with her staff out, seemingly trying very hard to not get herself involved.

Kairi was torn between watching the commotion and leaving to find Sora and Riku and ask about just what had happened earlier.

Hearing footsteps behind her, she realized that at least one of her options had just been nullified, as they had come looking for her instead.

She turned around, expecting the boys to greet her normally like they might have even in the midst of some sort of danger. However, she found herself both puzzled and not surprised to see them both panting and more concerned than she had seen them in quite a while. So it had been true... they were connected with what had happened with Sephiroth, like she had thought.

However, before she could say anything, Sora rushed up and hugged her tightly. "Kairi, I'm glad you're all right, has anything happened?" he asked worriedly.

Kairi had to laugh a little at Sora being his normal slightly overprotective self about certain friends. She returned the hug before gently pushing him away. "I'm fine, though my guess is that something big happened?"

Sora paled slightly and caught Riku's eye. The two boys nodded in reply. "Well..." Sora began.

A loud crash from the kitchen interrupted that thought. Both Sora and Riku jumped slightly, staring towards the room with looks of dread on their faces. Kairi simply sighed and shook her head. It seemed like the chaos was only growing worse. "Did either of you two have anything to do with this?" she asked, pointing towards the room and already knowing the answer to her question.

The two boys carefully approached the doorway and poked their heads in to look and see what was going on. Their jaws immediately dropped as they gaped and saw what had become of the kitchen.

Kairi glanced in with them, seeing that the mess had only gotten worse, and that now Aerith seemed just about ready to throw her dignity aside and jump right in. However, what she caught in a quick few moments was the look on Sephiroth's now smeared with curry face when he saw Sora and Riku.

It was pure hatred and vengeance.

Sora and Riku simultaneously winced. They both turned immediately. "Kairi, let's go train," they both said in unison, and in one movement, they had linked and grabbed Kairi's arms, bodily picked her up, and fled the scene with her in tow.

Kairi was shocked. "Hey!" she shouted, but both boys seemed perfectly oblivious to her protests, instead paying more attention to the fact that they were running for their lives. She sighed in defeat, deciding that she would let them take her to where they were headed before questioning them. "I guess you did do something," she answered in a bit of a sing-song voice, as she knew indeed that they had.

She was almost surprised when Sora answered her. "We'lltellyoulater," he said in between breaths.

Riku replied to him in the exact, hurried tone. "Sora,sometimeyou'vejustgottosay'yes'toSephirothandfighthimagain!"

_Wow, I never thought Riku was capable of talking like that..._

""NoIdon'twannahetriedtokillmenowlet'sjustgotrain!"

_... They'd better talk when we get to the training area._


End file.
